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He's lost 65kg, but for Darren Waiwai exercise was about silencing the taniwha

Sunday, April 23, 2023 • ByStuff reporter
Masterton man Darren 'D' Waiwai has lost 65kg in the last year at Wai Weight Gym.  Photo / Stuff

By Piers Fuller, Stuff

Darren ‘D’ Waiwai wears his old singlet to the gym everyday so he can see how far he’s come.

The Masterton father of four has lost 65kg in the last year. Now, his old clothes hang off him like a tent.

Going to the gym has helped Waiwai work through family trauma, and it’s been a lifesaver for his son who he’s working alongside after a period of poor mental health.

Waiwai’s son attempted to take his own life over a year ago and the subsequent hospitalisations and medication were traumatic for their whānau.

Darren Waiwai before losing weight.  Source / Stuff

With the help of gym owner Bevan Mackenzie​, at Wai Weight Gym​, and Ngarino Te Waati​ of Māori men’s support organisation Tane Matua​, they are in a much better place now, mentally and physically.

Waiwai’s led a colourful life, with several years in the 1990s as a professional performer with dance troupes.

In those days he was very fit.

But from the early 2000s he gained weight, topping out at around 190kg. Waiwai knew things had to change. Life expectancy for Māori men is worse than for Pākehā, and they’re more likely to die from preventable diseases, with cancer, diabetes and heart disease of particular concern for Māori.

As the youngest boy of 10 siblings, he was born in Wairarapa, but whāngai [adopted] to his uncle’s family up in Te Urewera​ at a young age, returning to Wairarapa for school.

His adoptive parents ran a social welfare family home in Masterton and Waiwai was affected by the stories and behaviour of many of the young people who came through his home over the years.

“There was trauma everywhere when I was growing up,” he says. “Some of the kids that were coming into the family home were actually my blood relatives on my birth side, and to hear their stories was f..... traumatic and some didn’t have a leg to stand on.

“I sort of grew up not knowing who the hell I was, really.”

Darren 'D' Waiwai shows how much space he now has in his beloved Māori All Blacks singlet.  Photo / Piers Fuller, Stuff

Singing and dance became a big part of his life as an adolescent, and it opened doors to him as a young man as he was taken under the wing of teachers and Māori leaders.

After college he was accepted to Whitireia Performing Arts in Porirua.

“I found a place of belonging and danced there for many years.”

While performing was extremely healthy, “You had to be aesthetically pleasing. We danced practically eight hours a day.”

In the intervening years he entered some dark places and became unhealthy, mentally and physically.

“When I finished dancing I drank everything, ate everything. Just eating rubbish and living rubbish. I hate to say it, but this intergenerational trauma was on top of me.”

He lost a baby daughter in the 1990s and a stepson died by suicide around eight years ago.

His four teenage children live with him in a social housing home in Masterton and they are working hard to stay on the right track.

“I’m more present for my children.”

More recently he has got back into kapahaka performing with Te Rangiura o Wairarapa at the Te Matatini nationals in Wellington in 2019 and 2020.

He’s met some great people through the group which helped him “connect back with his people again”, but there were further difficult times when his son attempted suicide.

Since working together in the gym and in life, his son has managed to reduce his medication intake and is slowly getting into a better head space.

Bevan MacKenzie of Wai Weight Gym in Masterton was instrumental in supporting Waiwai's journey.  Piers Fuller / Stuff

Waiwai credits gym owner Bevan Mackenzie for much of his success in regaining his health.

“He’s been an anchor for me. He said ‘give me three months and I’ll change your life’,” he said.

He trains 11 days on, one day off and admits he’s not the usual gym-goer.

“I don’t come here to be aesthetically pleasing. I come here to silence the taniwha in my head. I’m more present for my children and my son.”

MacKenzie said Waiwai had proven to be consistent.

“He never set out to lose a kilo a week, in fact I think the weight loss was just a side effect. D is passionate about making those changes. I’d seen that he’d been through a lot, especially with his son, and I thought the best place for him is to train.

“Quite often, people think of the gym’s physical benefits, but what they don’t realise it has a huge mental aspect to it.”

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