“I’ve had everything from people saying, ‘you’re a disgrace to tikanga’ to ‘you’re going to hell,’” says Te Warena.
As a transgender woman, Te Warena’s decision to receive a moko kauae earlier this year prompted a strong backlash from some who argue the traditional tattoo should be reserved for those born female.
But provoking responses is something Te Warena has been doing all her life, a life she shares regularly with her 790,000 TikTok followers.
Te Ao Māori News and The Hui sat down with Te Warena in her home in Wellington as she reflected on her life, the scrutiny her decisions attract and the debate surrounding gender roles within traditional tikanga.
Early life and career
Te Warena grew up in the rural settlement of Mangatangi, in north Waikato raised by her grandmother. She struggled with her gender identity in the small community, leaving school at 13.
She later moved to Auckland’s Karangahape Road before beginning her career as a hair and makeup artist. Among the highlights was working for Wētā Workshop for 11 years, contributing to films including The Hobbit and Avatar.
2019 brought two significant life changes to Te Warena: she became a solo parent responsible for three tamariki, Te Whero, Charlie, and Josie Rose.
And she began transitioning to a woman.
“I had just started my first day of hormones working on a movie... there were hormones racing, a lot of crying in the night, not knowing what to do,” she says.
During this time, she began posting on TikTok, often featuring Te Whero, who was born with Klinefelter syndrome. Klinefelter occurs when males are born with an extra X chromosome, which can impact speech and development.
Loss and the decision to receive moko kauae
Te Whero’s health deteriorated rapidly after initial leg pain led to the diagnosis of a brain tumour.
“He was on life support. That was the only thing keeping him going,” she says.
Te Warena ultimately made the decision to turn off life support.
“I felt him say it was all right and then he was gone. I didn’t cry. I just stayed pretty staunch because I had to get through all of this on my own.”
Following his death, Te Warena chose to get a moko kauae as a tribute to Te Whero.
Before taking the big step, Te Warena sought guidance from her own whānau.
“My auntie... she is our kaikaranga, the matriarch.”
With her aunt’s blessing, she began selecting a female tā moko artist for the process.
Te Warena wore her aunt’s korowai while receiving the markings. The design includes two Manawa patterns near her eyes representing the physical and spiritual realms, anchored by the kauae on her chin.
“When people ask what this is about, this is about my grief, about him,” she says. “When I see this, I can always see Te Whero.”
Her decision has coincided with an NZ First member’s bill that seeks to legally define a “woman” as an adult human biological female and “man” as an adult human biological male across all New Zealand legislation.
Proponents say the legislation will uphold legal certainty, protect sex-based rights, and ensure laws reflect biological reality.
Critics, including the Human Rights Commission and advocacy groups, warn that it risks removing legal protections for non-binary and transgender individuals. They also fear it would reduce their access to gender-inclusive healthcare and reproductive services.
For the full interview, watch The Hui - streaming on Māori + on Monday at 8pm.
